At lunchtime Overwatch, I was in quickplay, and someone popped into comms, which is unusual for quickplay games. So I identified as Pharah, and said something like 'team chat in quickplay? Okay, that's unusual, cool' and he was all "hey, you're close to going silver, how's it feel?" and I answered in all seriousness, "Honestly, I didn't even know what that meant until somebody else mentioned it about ten levels ago," at which point he said "oh, well, okay, you're just retarded."

So I vocalised into the mic, "oooookay... social... team chat... disconnect" as I did exactly that.

I proceeded to four-gold, and captured the first point nearly solo while everyone else but Sombra was trapped at spawn. (And, credit where it's due, Sombra definitely helped with the capture, mostly on the second third.) Yes, 1 to 2 on 4-6, depending upon how many could rush back at any given time to defend, and winning.

I can do a lot even for even a spectacularly shitty team when I'm on a roll - and I was.

Sadly, I couldn't capture the second point the same way, because the enemy were on to my tricks at that point, but, well, whatever. Four golds. I worked hard to make sure I had 'em all.

I then switched to Widowmaker on the flip side (defence) and popped in to team chat quietly for a second for a reaction, just in time to hear the same jackass bitching about everything, particularly the Widowmaker. And I popped back out.

We proceeded to lose, but I golded in objective kills and I think objective time but I'm not sure. (Might just have silvered.) As we're seeing all that, I pop back into team chat, and they're going at each other, just being salty as fuck.

So I hit my mic and say, "And this is why you don't call your four-gold 'retarded' - she might decide to play Widowmaker next round. Bye!" and dropped.

I realise this kind of snippery is not necessarily the best possible response to this kind of jackass? But I'm thinking, y'know, maybe he might be a little bit hesitant to let that shit fly right out the gate next time. Maybe. Because you really, really don't know who you might be playing with.

(For the record: I actually am trying to learn Widowmaker, that's why I'm playing her in quickplay a lot at the moment. Best kill streak with her so far is I think 12, max kills with her is 23, I've earned the Pixel spray but not the Cute. So if the team I'm with is any good, I'm not a joke, I'm a legitimate contributor, I often gold in objective kills with her, and I always play the best I can at any time. I always play to win. Even here.)

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So this is funny (to me at least)...

I'm playing a lot of Widowmaker against AIs in hard mode, because I'm learning the character, because I used to be a decent sniper once, and not at all because I write Tracermaker fic and identify with certain aspects of Widowmaker no not at all don't let's be silly.

And one thing I figured out real quick is that if the enemy team has a Zen and I get in line of sight, whether he can see me or not, he will whip around and instakill me. Seriously, I've seen it enough in replays to know, he's 180 degrees facing away from me, I peek over, WHIP DEAD.

(I am not exaggerating. Engaged with others of my team, facing away, no fukkit I'm killing that Widowmaker.)

And I was getting kind of salty about this because no human player could do that, right? And I was complaining about it to @annathepiper, and she said:

Well, you did assassinate his brother.

...and i'm like "...oh yeah."

So now, okay, it's still super frustrating? But it's also kind of hilarious.

Fortunately there seems to be some sort of distance limit to the trigger for that reaction, so I can take him out from afar and then try to play. But, still, damn. And, still, lol.

I guess it's a pain in the ass but I totally deserve it. Except my Widowmaker didn't do that. So I don't. I need an AU of this mode that works in my Fear of Spiders AU. Or something. XD

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ugh, I had the worst competitive play night ever last night.

Seriously, I fell 100 points despite continually golding in objective kills and time but absolutely nothing I could do mattered.

So many bad team decisions - teams entirely off comms, floating mostly-sniper groups (seriously it'd be like three snipers and a Genji on capture-the-point levels, and I'm like, are you trying to lose?), Hanzo trying to dive-bomb a held point solo, one game with no healers (so I played Mercy as best I could), bastions insisting on playing on offence and trying to turret their way from off point to victory I guess? So terrible.

(I mean I'm not a good Mercy; if I have a choice on healer I'm picking Ana, but I'll try. I got a couple of rounds of rezzes per game, but they weren't protecting me so it was still bad.)

I'm not the sort to go on comms and say "this combo is guaranteed to lose no matter what I do" and I was trying to coach but with so few people on comms, well.

Ugh.

The only good part was that afterwards I said 'fukkit I'm taking Widowmaker into quickplay for the first time' and proceeded to silver (23) in kills, gold (20) in objective kills, and gold (I don't remember, but it was several minutes) in objective time. This should NOT BE A THING and is STILL MORE BAD DECISION THEATRE, yet there I was taking down Reinhardt with my Talon machine gun because SOMEONE HAS TO BE ON POINT and I GUESS IT'LL BE ME.

The best part being, of course, that I did take Reinhardt down with my machine gun on the point three times. It was like I was paying Tracer. He was so mad. As was, really, their whole team, 'cause it wasn't just him. I had a 12 kill streak at one point, all objective.

The only way they won is that they literally stacked all their ults at me, and it still took a few goes. The first point, I'd tried playing Widowmaker properly and killed like half their team on their first push and yet they still took the point immediately, and the first 2/3rds of the second, so all this was in the context of nine minutes of defence on the second point.

We lost, of course, in overtime, because I'm sorry even I can't survive four stacked ults pointed at me.

But I did unlock the Does That Sting? achievement on my first actual game as Widowmaker. That was hilarious. Don't underestimate those venom mines, kids, I had like eight kills with 'em.

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Was briefly up to 1970 but as we were grouped and ready to go into the last game, like half the group dropped out and we were a three-set rather than a six, and we got put with three randos and lost pretty decisively. Still: I'm 2-3 wins away from being back in gold, and today was pretty much a 75 point climb, so that's a little less than usual but not bad at all. And it was a 100 point until half our group dropped out while we were searching for the last game.

Had a couple of plays of the game, one as Tracer, one as Pharah, so I'll give Pharah the icon.

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Oh my gods you guys this was hilarious, I was Tracer on offence in Hamaura, right? And we took objective A real fast to set this up. (I had five of the six kills, heavy damage on all, 100% on a couple, good stuff.) So then we charge to Objective B.

I take out their piggy and their Mei and charge onto the point. Their Torb has a turret near the stairs on defence right, one of the usual places. He's up there pounding on it, and it's shooting at most of the point, and I'm just ducking out of the way and find that it can't hit me near the stairs on defence left, in that little corner by the stairs that's still on the objective.

We take out a couple more of their team (I'm at like 10 kill streak now, or will be soon) and start taking the point. They start zooming out from spawn, like y'do. I'm the only one actually on the point, I've never left it, because I still can't be hit by that turret.

So the counter is ticking up. And as they respawn, keep leaping over me from spawn exit onto the point, landing directly in front of my guns. So I'm just unloading clips into their backs, killing them before they even know what's going on.

THIS KEEPS HAPPENING.

Their Torb goes molten core and I teleport over, give him a present, he explodes, it's hilarious (and POTG), and then we win.

I literally took out like six, maybe seven of their team just because of them JUMPING IN FRONT OF ME FACING AWAY AND NOT KNOWING I WAS THERE EVEN AS I KILLED THEM. I didn't even have to aim.

Well, maybe there was a little aiming. But not a lot.

It was 100% "Hi! I'm tiny, squishy Bastion now! Please continue to jump directly in front of me and melt. Thanks!"

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I saw some nice enemy Junkrat play last night, while playing I was Pharah in Illios.

So the first round, we'd lost badly, because I didn't get Pharah, and whoever did wasn't good with environment kills (at the Lighthouse, even, which makes me sad) and we get scrubbed. We win in the Ruins, though, because I can D.va the shit out of the Ruins.

So at the beginning of the third round, our Pharah changes to somebody else (becoming more effective, I might add) and I grab Pharah. And we're crushing them. It's the well, they can't even really get onto the point.

And I'm flying 'round the back of the well's lighthouse, to bombard the entry to the point from over the sea, which is what I should be doing if I can. And I see Hanzo and Junks on a second-floor balcony facing the ocean.

So of course, I boop 'em, because environmental kills are my dearest love as Pharah. The archer flies directly into the ocean, and so does Junks - at first. Then he spins round, throws his mine directly in front of himself, detonates it...

...and gets blown ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE LOWER LEVEL OF THE LIGHTHOUSE, making it safely to land.

I was all like "Oh, well done. I almost hate to kill you."

Of course, we promptly three-on-oned him and he died, because he had no team behind him. But I just gotta say: enemy Junkrat from last night? That was some damned find junking. Quick thinking and well done, whoever you were.

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38 kills in one game (as Tracer) and I didn't even medal. jfc that was hilarious.

(28 on objective, though, and that did medal. Silver I think? And golded for Time On Objective, which is super-critical on payload levels.)

I've had half a song in my head for a while, it's about playing Tracer as a tank. BECAUSE TRACER CAN BE A TANK ON PAYLOAD LEVELS I HAVE DONE IT ENOUGH TIMES I KNOW.

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stupid servers why are you being stupid tonight?!

heavy tracer play kind of relies on the servers not doing horrible things like:

• undoing your jinks (moving you back to where you'd been)
• not exploding your pulse bombs
• exploding your pulse bombs but not registering the damage
• jerking you back and forth between two positions in rapid succession for no apparent reason
• VIBRATING YOU IN PLACE SOMETIMES WHAT EVEN.

I know other people don't see this or at least don't see it as much (except the Tracer bomb thing, that shit's infamous) BUT I HAVE WITNESSES I'M NOT MAKING IT UP.

and tonight it's like DO ALL THE STUPID THINGS. even when I win I feel like I'm beating the server, not the opposing team.

nghghghghghghgh.

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